After Kalani Faagata reconnected with her “hall pass” boyfriend on 90 Day: The Last Resort, she got a weird amount of hate.
Whether or not she was “cheating” (debatable for a few reasons), the death threats and worse are inexcusable.
But Kalani is opening up about why some of these are way, way too real. There’s a lot that fans just don’t know.
In explaining details of her history with Asuelu Pulaa, Kalani is also accusing him of sexually assaulting her during their marriage.
Enough is enough
This week, Kalani Faagata took to her Instagram Story to address the malicious hate that trolls had sent her way.
“I’ve had enough of the hate male and the [rape]/death threats,” she began.
“So,” Kalani wrote. “Let’s clear some things up.”
This wasn’t just a one night stand that resulted in a pregnancy
“I did not have a one night stand with Asuelu,” she clarified.
As viewers know, she had never had sex before her family’s trip to Samoa in which she met Asuelu.
“We didn’t even kiss until 2 weeks after knowing each other,” Kalani revealed.
Her relationship timeline is not what people assume
“I met him in July 2016,” Kalani shared. “We intentionally got pregnant May 2017.”
This is a revelation. Many 90 Day fans had assumed that the pregnancy was unintentional, and that it happened much earlier after they met.
As we can see, Kalani is defending herself from some critics. But she’s also being truthful enough that some of her other defenders might find her past choices baffling. She’s just being honest.
Does Kalani depend upon her parents?
“My parents do not monetarily support me in any way,” Kalani then wrote. “And never have.”
She shared: “The Utah house was half mine, that’s public record. And I always paid my part.”
Kalani detailed: “I do not live with my parents and I support myself.”
She also discusses sexual assault within her marriage
This next part is when things become truly upsetting. Seriously, content warning for sexual assault.
“I had a second baby because I was held down,” Kalani wrote. It sounds like she means this literally.
“He apologized for that, and the other times I was SA,” she added. “It’s recorded.” SA is an abbreviation for sexual assault, one that people often have to use on overly censored social media spaces.
“You can imagine how it feels to get messages about ‘taking responsibility’ and learning to keep my legs shut,” Kalani wrote, “when they were forced open.”
That is a grim reminder that you never know what was and was not someone’s choice.
Also, there is no circumstance where scolding someone to have kept their legs shut is an acceptable action. None. Even if it was their choice. It’s shocking that someone might not know that! Misogyny is a plague.
“None of you know ANYONE you watch,” Kalani then pointed out.
“You know a version of people,” she reminded them. “And you crucify them over things out of their control, and for what?”
Kalani then expressed: “May all of that energy be returned back to you and yours.”
That’s a lot to process
She’s making a solid point here, because there are plenty of things that viewers will never see. Certainly, the show never portrayed Asuelu as a sexual predator — just as a manchild and an idiot.
Obviously, we do know enough about some of the cast to condemn them. Nothing, for example, could excuse Angela Deem. She is what she has chosen to be.
But people self-edit, and then actual editors do a lot more to narrow what we see of people. We’ll never know a reality star’s whole story from watching the show.
In addition to the usual victim-blaming nonsense of “why didn’t she say so earlier,” some viewers have less malicious questions.
Some wonder if 90 Day Fiance producers ever suspected this. They spend weeks at a time filming these couples, after all.
It’s possible that Kalani hid this pain from them. That’s not uncommon for people experiencing domestic violence, including spousal rape.
Sometimes, the show covers for seriously bad dudes
However, some longtime viewers of the franchise cannot help but think of several instances of editors and producers learned of but deliberately concealing evil things.
One example, of course, is when production did not explain why convicted abuser Geoffrey Paschel was not at his season’s Tell All.
Geoffrey is currently in prison where he belongs, following a brutal attack on his former fiancee (from just months before he filmed for the show). But viewers who don’t follow online coverage likely have no idea.
Dishonest editing abounds
A more recent example was when editors removed hate speech from a Tell All (and not for the first time). Earlier this year, they gave Mahmoud this treatment.
He said some vile things to castmate, Gabe. Some viewers mistakenly thought that Gabe was picking a fight with him, but Mahmoud spewed very bigoted things at him.
It’s unlikely that 90 Day Fiance fans will ever see that footage. And producers likely did this so that they could film Nicole and Mahmoud for another, future season.
Our hearts go out to Kalani at this painful time.
We’re sure that writing all of that was not easy and we applaud her courage.